Monkey Palaver

 The dank moisty air of freedom hit Ukandu’s nostrils, as an avalanche of thoughts raced through his mind.  Uppermost on his thoughts was how to move on with life. But he will go to Igbinka first, to see where Nne was buried. He would spend a few days there, to mourn his mother, traditionally. Then he would move away from Igbinka, forever. With Nne gone, his hometown no longer held any spark. Bato was the only other human that reconnects him to Igbinka.

It was Bato who brought the news of Nne’s demise to him. Bato, the only soul that visited him during his incarceration. Bato held him close as he wept. He wept at Bato’s shoulders until the prison guards rang the bell that signified that visiting time was over.

“When you are out of this place, you will perform the proper rites for her funeral.”

Being absent at Nne’s funeral was the saddest phase of his life; sadder than the six years he spent behind bars. Nne, who always consoled herself with the litany: “At least, I have you, Ukandu, to give me a befitting burial when I close my eyes.” These words, spoken time after time, were a harrowing solace for a woman who had lost six children; three males and two females. Nne would always add, “I don’t know whom I offended in my previous life that made my chi to punish me with ogbanje children. Ukandu, thank you for staying; for giving me consolation.”

A long time ago, Ukandu stopped explaining to Nne that the loss of her children was not punishment from her personal god. They could have died of jaundice or any of the other numerous illnesses that plagued children. His explanation never convinced Nne. “They were ogbanje, sent to torment me, but my chi showed me mercy by making sure you stayed. At least I have a child who will cover my grave.”

Nne spoke like someone merely living to die. Whenever she talked about the rites to be performed at her funeral, her sunken eyes glowed, like the glimmering light that came from the lone bulb, hung in the ceiling of her room.

“You must make sure to kill a cow for my funeral. I am Nwa Ada.”

Ukandu knew quite well, the traditional rites to bury an Nwa Ada, the first daughter of a family. No matter where the journey of marriage may have taken them, at death, their ancestral families would demand a cow to be slaughtered at their funerals. It was a mark of honour.

Nne’s habitual talks about death always frightened Ukandu. Her words, spurted out with gaiety made it seem like the death is impending.

“You are not going yet, Nne,” he always countered.

“Not yet, my son, but death will surely come.”

 Ukandu was determined to give her the sort of burial she desired.

                                             ———————————–

He turned around to take a final look at the high prison walls. Suddenly, he broke into a run, scared that the prison officials might call him back. He had completed his six-year jail term quite alright.  His fellow inmates had sung for him, the customary song of freedom. Yet, Ukandu feared there may have been a mistake lurking somewhere. One could never tell.  An error could emanate from anywhere. Barely two months ago, they had sung the song of freedom for Ige. He had hugged some of the inmates and wished them freedom.  Barely fifteen minutes later, Ige re-emerged in the prison yard, dragged in by two warders. “There had been a mistake,” the warders explained. Ige’s file was mismatched with another prisoner’s.

“Mehn! Anything is possible in Naija,” the prisoners variously exclaimed.

It involved splashing dirty water on the one who was about to go. They would clap and dance around him and wish him well.

He only stopped running when he got close to a police station. He walked at a slower pace. The road was lonely. It was like people avoided the street deliberately, like the way a rat would avoid a cat. Getting into police trouble was easy in Nigeria. One could be arrested for walking along a road.

Ukandu never had any encounter with the police until the monkey palaver that got him incarcerated for six years. He remembered clearly, the ordeal of the woman he saw at the police station on the day of his arrest.

He remembered the hefty–looking woman who was being tortured on the day of his arrest. She had squirmed in pain at the brutal beating from the policemen. Her huge frame appeared shrunken as she lay on the bare floor.

“Are you ready to confess now?”

“I cannot confess to what I did not do.”

 The female police officer pulled at her ears while the tall and slim male Sergeant kicked at her endlessly. Suddenly, she screamed: “I know that Omeife has greased your palms. You are returning his favour by beating me in this manner.”

“Shut up woman and carry yourself out of this station.”

The woman staggered to her feet and fled.

Ukandu never got to know what the woman’s offence was. He only wished they could beat him up too and let him go. It was not to be. His offence was a heavy one. He was clamped into the cell and two appearances in court later, his sentence was pronounced.

                                     ——————————————–

.”

Ukandu was unprepared for what awaited him on his first night at the prison. He was roused from sleep by a sharp pain on his legs. He gasped in pain. A towering figure stood over him. Ukandu realized where the pain was coming from. His legs were pinned by the legs of the towering figure. He was standing on Ukandu’s legs.

“Who is C.O.?” His eyes were heavy with weeping.

“Follow me and you’ll know.” He stepped off Ukandu’s legs and walked to the door. “Don’t waste time. C.O. hates being kept waiting.”

C.O. was heavily built. He has a deep cut on his face. His bare arms showed patches of dark spots. He beckoned on Ukandu to step into a big circle drawn with white chalk on the concrete floor. Two other men stood inside the circle.

“So what brought you to our palace.” Ukandu looked at the other men.

“It is you I am talking to.” He was pointing at Ukandu. “I don’t usually repeat myself. I asked a question and I expect a quick answer.”

“You want me to tell you what I did to earn my sentence?”

“Did I have water in my mouth when I spoke?”

“I did not say so. But what brought me here is not subject to public discussion. The records are in my file and if it’s needed for any official reason, the prison authorities, being the agent of the government will release them to you and I don’t think…” The slap that landed on his right cheek made him swallow the rest of his words. He staggered backwards but managed to regain his composure. The man who slapped him was the same man who stood on his legs. He seemed to be C.O.’s superintendent.

“Make sure you don’t step outside that circle.” C.O. sounded menacing. “Look, we run our own government here. You may choose to call it prison but to some of us, it is a palace. I am the Commanding Officer here.” C.O. spoke in measured tones. “Every new convict narrates what got him into jail. Three of you joined today and you must all answer my questions promptly. Is that clear?” They nodded.

“Now, are you ready to speak.?” His gaze was fixed on Ukandu. “What brought you to our palace?”

“I was sentenced to jail for manslaughter.”

“You killed somebody. Whether it’s manslaughter or womanslaughter, that is your grammar.” The men laughed heartily. Ukandu was not amused by the sarcasm.

“Who did you kill, a man or a woman?”

“A man.”

“He slept with your wife or girlfriend?”

“No.”

“So, what made you kill him?”

“He killed my monkey.”

The prisoners all roared into a riotous fit of laughter. Even C.O. joined in the laughter.

  “So because of ordinary monkey, you wasted a human life. So what did you benefit from your action?”

“Nothing.” Ukandu’s gaze was fixed on the ground.

“You must be stupid, very stupid,” C.O. barked. “Do you know why I came here? I stole. I mean, I stole big time. My gang and I broke into banks and stole from vaults. I lived big. I enjoyed my life to the fullest till I was caught. And even as I am here, the good memories of my stealing history keep me fresh. Here you are exhibiting high-level stupidity.”

Ukandu was shoved aside. C.O. pointed to one of the other men.

“What brought you to my palace?”

“I kidnapped a businessman.”

There was a hilarious applause. With his morale boosted, he squeaked like a weaver bird. “The ransom I was paid bought me a car and I enjoyed plenty girls before those yeye police officers picked me up. The other members of my gang escaped. I swear when I leave this place, I will look for them and deal with them.”

“Shut up!” C.O thundered and pointed to the last man. “And you, why are you here.”

“I was framed. I know nothing of the crime that I was accused of.”

“Give them the orientation bath,” C.O. instructed. Ukandu watched in awe as C.O.’s subordinates splashed them with algae-infested water.

“This is not dignifying at all,” Ukandu muttered.

                                                            ——————————–

They called Mally an ordinary monkey. They did not understand. How could anyone understand that Mally was more than ordinary? While he worked at the Forest Reserve, Mally became a pet, first; and finally, he became family. When the reserve was closed down due to poor funding from the government, Ukandu was happy to take Mally home. He lived in a part of the city that had a lot of trees. Mally would happily jump from tree to tree, plucking seeds and nuts. At the end of each day, he returned home to the Banana tree in the compound where Ukandu lived. When it was time for his quarterly visit to Nne, he made up his mind to take Mally along.

Folks at Igbinka mocked him. They laughed him to scorn. “Efulefu” the old men taunted him. “It’s only an Efulefu that will study in the university, work in the city for years; then bring back a monkey home to his aged mother.” His mother was not pleased. The mockery hurt her to her bone marrow.

“But why a monkey, my son? You did not see chickens and goats to buy for me. You bought me a monkey. What do you want me to do with it?”

“She will keep you company, Nne.”

“She?”

They did not understand. Mally was not an ordinary monkey.

“Yes, Nne. She is a female monkey and you will find her useful pretty soon.”

“Tufia,” Nne spat. “I cannot take the memory of a monkey to my grave. Ukandu what have I done to deserve this torment.”

“Nne, you must not relate everything to death and grave.”

Before the end of his two-week visit, Nne began to love Mally.

During his next visit home, Nne narrated that Mally had begun to run errands for her. “She plucks bitter leaf for me and helps me keep the compound clean.” Ukandu was pleased.

“What is more,” Nne added, “she goes to buy my snuff from Isiokpo’s wife.”

                              ————————————-

When he visited again, he found Nne heartbroken. She was emaciated. “Mally has gone away,” she narrated. “Mally left me to die a lonely death.”

“You are not dying soon, Nne. When did Mally disappear?”

“Eight days ago.”

“We can still find her. Maybe she wandered far into the bushes and is finding it difficult to trace her way home.” Ukandu held on to a thread of hope that Mally would be found. He would declare a search. The mockery began again. A search party for a monkey was unheard of. Ukandu was not deterred. They did not understand. Who would understand the bond between Mally and Nne; a bond that existed between him and Mally before it transcended to Nne.  

He decided to visit Isiokpo. Mally bought Nne’s snuff from his wife. They may have developed an affinity with her to elicit some compassion. Surely, Isiokpo would help him organise a search party. He was eating when Ukandu arrived.  In Igbinka, it was customary to serve a guest who met you eating. But Isiokpo and his wife made no attempt to offer Ukandu any meal. Out of curiosity, he peered into Isiokpo’s bowl of soup.

“That’s my Mally on your plate.” Ukandu charged at him. “You killed Mally, Isiokpo, you killed her.”

Isiokpo edged sideways to avoid Ukandu’s blow. It would have ended there but for Isiokpo’s response. “I have to kill the miserable animal because your mother was getting too attached to it. There is no madness in our family but ever since you brought that monkey home, your mother had begun to exhibit some traces of madness. Her attachment to the animal is abnormal. Ukandu did not know what offended him more; the reference to Mally as ‘it’ or the association of her mother’s love to Mally as madness. Dazed by anger, Ukandu gave Isiokpo a blow on the chest. Isiokpo sprawled to the ground.

                                             ———————————

He walked past the police station briskly and headed towards the motor park. The park was boisterous. He wondered if anyone could tell that he was just released from jail. His clean-shaven hair may give him away. But it does not matter if anyone knew. Freedom was sweeter than embarrassment. C.O. had supervised his freedom ritual at the palace. He still smelt of the algae-filled water poured on him. He boarded a bus to Igbinka. He paid from the remnant of the money that Bato gave him during his last visit. Once he gets to Igbinka, he would go and see Bato. He needs his shoulder to cry on when he beholds Nne’s grave.

Bato embraced him with hesitation.

“I would love to perform Nne’s traditional rites. But first, follow me home. Come and show me her grave.”

“Not yet, Ukandu. You must leave Igbinka immediately. You have served your jail term but the one-year mandatory oso ochu must still take its course. You must stay away from Igbinka for one year to observe it.”

“But I have been in jail for six years.”

“That is the punishment of the state. Igbinka has its own ancient laws.”

“Who told you this?”

“The Igwe and his cabinet said so. They must not see us together. Otherwise, I will be in trouble. You are not meant to associate with anyone until the oso ochu is completed.”

“So, I have another whole year before I can mourn my Nne. It seems like eternity to me.”

“Don’t be like the proverbial tortoise who fell into a pit and spent ten days there before he was discovered. When the other animals rallied around to rescue him, he told them to hurry up lest he chokes in the smell of faecal odour.”

Bato’s words held no comfort for Ukandu. The tears fell like pellets as he embarked on the night journey out of Igbinka. Six years ago, the night journey led him to prison. On this journey, he does not know his destination. He only wished Mally was still alive to offer him some comfort and to accompany him on the lonely road.