VALID FORGIVENESS

Dear Baba,

Words, they say, are precious only to those who hear them. Sure, the elders say that what an elder sees from his sitting position is not visible to a child, even at a standing position. I was desperate to see Dupe and you granted me just that. I shall not hesitate to tell you how it went.

I did as you directed, Baba Awo. And the result is exceptional! I recited the incantations you taught me before, of course. Then, I recalled a time and place we were both happy. It was a Sunday, after lunch. We took a walk past the locked shops, past the newly built houses near the front until we reached the sands. We took off our shoes to walk close to the sea. We waited there for the waves to flow over and ride up our ankles. Then the receding water sucked the sand from under our feet. Unexpectedly, some fast-high waves hurtled over and we were soon sitting in the water, dragged into the sea fast! We clutched at each other coughing as the receding water sprayed our faces, entering our nostrils. We crawled, scrambled onto our feet and ran to higher grounds all the time laughing and coughing. It was exciting and fearful at the same time. We were wet, of course, but the sun was out and the gentle breeze was not cold. But we sat close together and talked about our plans.

We talked a lot about safety and comfort. We did not want to move away from the sea after our wedding and we wanted a place not too far from the shops, either. We planned to continue to get around on our bicycles for some time yet. The school where we taught was near the centre of town but near enough to ride to comfortably. The town was not that densely populated, and there were not many cars driving about. There were buses we could take if we needed to go further. Life was pleasurable for us I replayed our conversation of that blissful afternoon as it happened. Although I started out pretending that it was taking place, as you advised, but as I entered the flow of it, it soon felt real. I could smell the sea, hear the gulls’ call and feel the gentle breeze blow through my buba. That was when I asked her why she committed suicide.

She gave an instant reply, laughing, “It was childish of me to think that killing myself would solve the problem.”

I was slow to respond. “The problem. What problem?” Still, I needed to know.

“I thought if I removed myself from the scene you would have no difficulty deciding which of us you preferred, as if you could bring me back to life if you decided it was me you preferred!”

“Deciding which of you I preferred? Who was the other person I am supposed to be considering as well?”

“Dupe, of course!” Her reply was sharp.

“Dupe? What has Dupe got to do with this? She was my late best friend’s girlfriend. I thought I explained all that to you when her problem started. Adedapo, my friend had an accident while riding a motorcycle. We were pals at school. Then he moved away for many years. He returned here and we resumed our close relationship. That was when I met Dupe. Soon after that, he died. After he died, she found out she was pregnant. Even he did not know of the pregnancy. Now his mother, who has travelled down from their village, got to know of his relationship with Dupe and that she was pregnant with his baby. Mama has claimed the unborn child as a member of her family. When the scan confirmed the foetus was a male, she took to calling it, ‘Adedapo mi’, which unnerved Dupe. That was how I got involved in this business.

“Dupe did not want the baby to be her boyfriend’s incarnation. Above all, she hated Mama’s possessiveness. The woman had already bought a crib and bath things for the unborn child and this without discussing it with Dupe. The poor girl felt Mama would overrule her in the care of her child. She even feared that the woman would run away with the child to their village. That was when she seriously considered an abortion, and that was when I decided to stick close to her to dissuade her from endangering her life and that of the baby. Then came your death and your note telling me to choose my life partner. I was distraught and confused. I did not understand why you had to release me to do that!”

“If you must know,” she interjected, “as time went on, I doubted your story of a dead best friend. I soon convinced myself that you were the father of the baby. Why else would you go to such trouble to dissuade Dupe from aborting the baby she did not want by a boyfriend who was not around to love the child with her?”

“Ohhhh, I wish you had confronted me with your doubt!”

“I tried to, in different ways.”

“I recall your shouting, ‘And where is Adedapo to take on his responsibility?’ And how did that make me the father of the child? I too wished that he was alive to talk to Dupe on the phone for hours on end: morning, noon and night. Even I prayed for reprieve from her constant, feverish complaints. I did not bother you with most of these because I did not want you upset too. It got to a point that I begged my mother to talk with Adedapo’s mother to go easy on Dupe. Her response startled me. She said, ‘Funsho, I beg you to stay clear of this problem, which you say is your late friend’s.’ Then she looked me in the eye and asked, ‘Have you contributed in any way in making this baby?’”

“THERE YOU ARE! That came from your mother, an independent observer! Why else would you worry yourself to the bone over someone else’s wahala? I failed to get your attention while all this went on. You were too preoccupied with her and what seemed the problem of both of you. In the end, I just could not bear it anymore and decided to make an exit.”

“But Bimbola, I had decided all along on you as my life partner. What would I need Dupe for with someone else’s baby? And there is Adedapo’s problematic mother. Could you not see that I was just waiting for her to deliver her baby safely before I washed my hands off that business? I felt I owed that much to him.” I was trying so hard to deuce the tempo of the conversation.

“You think Dupe will let you rest over the antics of the baby’s grandmother? I can even understand the poor woman’s plight. Adedapo was her only child, whom she struggled to bring up and educate, after his father abandoned them because she could not give him more children. You said he went on to marry two more productive wives. I understand her seeing Adedapo in the baby, whom she was ready to start nurturing over again.”

“Exactly what Dupe found so morbid! The woman then fell and broke her hip, which kept her immobile. Did that stop anything? She asked Dupe to come and stay with her so she would be sure she was getting enough rest. When Dupe refused to do so, she sent her sisters and a relative to watch over her, which was simply suffocating. Anyway, the baby is due in six weeks, which should end one stage of the problem. To complicate matters further, or perhaps to bring sanity into it, Dupe’s mother has arrived to be with her only daughter and last child, until she delivers. The two mothers should be able to sort things out from now. I wish you had stayed around long enough for this business to be resolved.”

“At the time, it seemed impossible that a solution would be in my favour. You were too involved with Dupe, even though you insisted all would soon be well. I could not see beyond what was happening there and then.”

“So what am I to do now? Commit suicide to resume our relationship?”

“Ah, no! That will solve nothing. It is unlikely that we can resume our relationship here. When your time runs out there and you cross over here, we will have to agree to return there together to work things out again.”

“You mean we can reincarnate together?”

“Why ever not? Our people already know about reincarnation. Our ancestors return again and again to continue the work they have started.”

“What if we miss each other, or run into other problems that come between us again?”

“Then we will return again and again until we get it right.”

Baba Awo, this is what I came away with, and I am happy that my beloved is happy with me again, even though we are physically separated. I am now wrapped up. Still, I thought of the weight of my words. Baba will be glad I carried out his instructions. I carefully imagine the reply I will be expecting from him. I caught some lines of reply
from Baba.

“There you are, my son. Now, you know how to keep in touch with your beloved until you, too, cross over. You also know that it is possible for you to get together in another lifetime. Life here soon passes, and we get the chance to make things better next time around. However, no one knows whether you will come together in the exact same relationship. You may come as father and daughter, brother and sister, master and slave, uncle and niece. No one knows. You may not even be male. That is why we say, treat everyone you meet with respect and love, he or she may be your beloved in another lifetime. Who knows how things will work out for you the next time around?”

THE END